“Not a fun read!”

“The characters were stereotypes!”

“The plot was nonexistent!”

Not every book club selection is a page turner.  You can’t please everybody so let the criticism bounce off and encourage members to vent their complaints during the discussion segment of the meeting.

Here’s a few guidelines to keep in mind as the moderator/leader gently steers the book club members toward their next selection.

• Don’t choose a book based on a movie expecting that what you’ll see and read will be the same.

Under the Tuscan Sun is a perfect example.  When the reader cracks open the novel expecting to find a beautiful divorcee finding romance while renovating a Tuscan villa, she’s in for a big surprise.  This would-be novel, could better be classified as a memoir or journal, which Frances Mayes used to record the process of reinventing a falling down house. In between projects, Mayes and her boyfriend explore the land and food of the region.

Evidently Mayes’ descriptions of  Italy are sadly lacking.  According to one reviewer, a real Italiano, about “half the quotations she made are simply ridiculous-out of context and full of spelling and grammatical errors”.  The book is also criticized  by the same reviewer for its non-existent plot and Disney-like characters.  If you’re looking for an accurate picture of  the country and its people, he recommends Italian Neighbors and An Italian Education by resident, Tim Parks.

But if your  group leans toward a low-key read that allows them to, “smell the food and hear the quiet of the countryside,” then Under the Tuscan Sun is just right.  Recipes are also included!

• Don’t veto a book based solely on length.

An excellent read, Outlander, book one in a series of seven, weighs in at 850 pages.  The reader who jumps in will find plenty of action episodes, spiced with fulfilling sex, coupled with vibrant scenes from life and disturbing pictures of death.  With WWII ended, a combat nurse and her husband travel to Britain to get reacquainted.  There she steps through an ancient stone circle, Craig na Dun and Claire Beauchamp Randall is sucked back into Scotland in the war-torn year of 1743.

Circumstances force  Claire to marry James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, a Scotsman five years her junior, and the story explodes off the page from that point onward.  While Outlander is not a light-hearted read, the “epic-style adventure with a truly satisfying romance” more than makes up for the Braveheart-style violence.  Other books in the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon include:  Dragonfly in Amber (1992), Voyager (1994), Drums in Autumn (1997), The Fiery Cross (2001), A Breathe of Snow and Ashes (2005), An Echo in the Bone (9/2009).  Take care to read them in order for the continuing saga of Claire, Frank and Jamie throughout  Scotland, France, the West Indies and America.

• Don’t judge a book by the title.

One Thousand White Women is a prime example.  This historical novel masquerades as the nonfiction diary of Mary Dodd, one of the women who volunteered to marry into the Cheyenne nation in 1854.  Having been shut away in an insane asylum  for bearing her lover’s child out of wedlock, Dodd leaps at the chance to gain her freedom.

Author, Jim Fergus, uses this great social experiment in integration to depict the life in the so-called civilized cities, as well as frontier towns, forts and Indian camps.  Along with the other women who had fled prisons, poorhouses and mental institutions, the reader feels the bitterly cold winters, smells the wood smoke of an open fire as well as the sharp scent of gunpowder as the native Americans struggle for their existence in the western territories.  A must read!

• Don’t choose a book based on the author’s name alone.

Maeve Binchy’s writing career spans 25 years or more and has produced 15 novels, 5 books of short stories, one play, one novella plus two nonfiction works.  At 502 pages, Tara Road (1998) drew major criticism, from the church book club, for the weak female characters portrayed as heroines.

The novel’s story revolves around two women:  Ria Lynch and her American counterpart.  Shattered by the break up of her marriage to real estate developer, Danny, the Irish woman agrees to a two-month house trade.  Also coping with a shaky marriage, torn apart by the loss of her son, Marilyn Vine, consents to leave her suburban Connecticut home for Tara Road.

Most bookclubbers found fault with Ria’s  desperate struggle to save her fractured relationship with  her philandering husband.  After discarding the possibility of having another baby to recement the marriage, Ria clings to Danny, begging him to come back.

While not a bad read, bookclubbers expressed their disgust with Binchy’s female cliches:  the interfering mother, obnoxious teenager, domestic victim, man-stealing witch and penny-pinching shrew.  Binchy’s theme, common to some of her other works – men are liars and cheats who will break your heart – can also be found in Tara Road.

• Don’t pick a novel based on the author’s successful songwriting career.

In A Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett, the reader meets cowboy Tully Mars and his horse, Mr. Twain, who flee bounty hunters only to end up on a boat enroute to the Caribbean.  There, a nearly 102-year-old lady, Cleopatra Highbourne, enlists Tully’s help in restoring a 150-year-old lighthouse to its former glory.

At that point, the search begins for a rare bulls-eye lens and the book meanders this way and that for 462 pages.  If a plot line exists, it’s buried amongst the boats, island scenery and crazy characters.  At one point someone writes a 50-page letter which finds its way into the book’s narrative, too.

While some of the individual episodes can be slightly humorous, the reader has to hack away at the novel’s underbrush to find them. If your group appreciates a tightly crafted story,  then hoist anchor and sail away from A Salty Piece of Land.

What are some of your dont’s?